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"Mighty M"  and God's Sovereign Plan of Faithfulness and Redemption

10/17/2018

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This week's blog submission was written by Rachel Rinehart.  We're so thankful to her for sharing their story with us!

#knittogetherbyadoption 


The road seems long and hard but when we are at the end we see all the ways HE showed up and showed off! 

January 2014, God stirred my heart when two friends started advocating for children who had Down syndrome on Instagram. We have had front row seats to adoption, but never imagined we would add to our family in that way. Even growing up with a cousin who had Down syndrome (and knowing he gave the best hugs ever!), it wasn't something on my mind. Until then. I spent hours looking at precious kiddos on Reece’s Rainbow and praying over why this new desire wouldn’t leave me alone! When God changes hearts it’s exciting stuff! A couple of months later, my hubby shared my eagerness and we started the home study process. Only a few days after that was finished, fall of 2014, we were pursuing a 3 month old little girl. The months came and went. And with each situation I lost a piece of my heart to the baby that wasn’t meant to be with our family. It wasn’t always easy, but we learned to wait with hopeful hearts and open hands. 


On March 1st came the phone call we had been dreaming of. Stephanie, head of the NDSAN, said, “You’ve been chosen”!! Our baby boy was due to be born in May. We spent the next few months preparing and building a relationship with our expectant mother. And on May 16th the little boy who had been growing in my heart was placed in my arms. We spent a few days with his birth mommy and 10 days in NICU. Finally we were home and together as a family. And then the phone call that put me to the floor. Matthias wasn't ours anymore. His birth mommy wanted him back. On his 27th day of life we handed him over and watched him drive away. Oh the pain. We had switched spots. His mama and I. The grief she had felt was now mine. God brought us through the valley I didn’t think possible. Being paper pregnant wasn’t easy. It brought with it some of the deepest trials.. but also pure joy. A love for my Jesus like I never had before. A love for mama’s in hard places. A deeper understanding of how broken and difficult this is for everyone. But despite the loss involved in adoption I was even more aware of God’s calling on our family. We went back as active on the registry, but it was quiet. We kept busy and tried to make sense of it all. The months passed and we neared the one year mark of waiting. One year. The journey has left us forever changed. We bare scars. We have experienced our father’s goodness in the midst of the pain. We trusted that to have loved and lost is better than to have never loved at all. 

"Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there, but all of it is totally meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain from the fallen nature or fallen man every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that." -John Piper 


But as time passed, I questioned my desire. Maybe we were pursuing it wrong. I had went on a mission trip to China in January.. maybe our baby was there. One Wednesday (Sept 30) I posted on a domestic adoption Facebook page (which I never do) stating our desire and to pass the word along. On October 1st, I faxed 2 applications to agencies pursuing 2 different kiddos in China. That road looked big, but I had to know if God opened the door. I was begging for direction that day. And at 3 pm God answered! Not only with direction.. but with a baby boy 1,865 miles away in a bassinet waiting for his family! A private message from someone who read my fb post and not 2 minutes later a call from Stephanie who also saw the post! With shaking hands and a quivering voice I called. I bet it was too late. But God had this planned from the beginning. I don’t know why I am surprised in the way God showed up! To be a witness to the glorious display of love that happened that Thursday. A day I will record as the work of a faithful God! We were chosen a few hours later and we said YES! Papers were signed yet that evening. And we were on a plane to meet our SON early Saturday morning. Meeting you all wrapped in God’s goodness. A moment I will always hold close. With swelling heart and sweaty hands we walked into that hospital. And I stared at you in awe. I was yours and you were mine. Mama and son only by Gods sovereign plan of faithfulness and redemption! 


Our mighty M was born on Sept 28 and placed in our arms Oct 3. This little boy was wished for, longed for, prayed for, and WANTED. And he was ours. He is our miracle gift. He is our love that came without warning. We stand amazed at God’s faithfulness. Once again He has turned our tears into dancing. To God be the glory.. Great things He has done! 
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Meet Miles. The little man who wrecked our world in a good way. He has a head full of hair, the longest eye lashes, and the biggest smiles. Oh yeah, and he has an extra 21st chromosome. Miles has Down syndrome. We think he is absolute perfection. 

What a whirlwind three years it has been. You are teaching us to see the world through different eyes. With a heart of compassion and unconditional love. You teach us to enjoy life, love big and laugh often. Loving you has been easy. But on hard days, I cry into my pillow with the desire that others knew you as I did. Only you'd probably just come up to me with your chubby hands and offer a kiss to remind me that hard isn't bad! 

We've been thrust into a world of advocacy and education. Fighting for people to see his worth is not based on his ability. And different is not less than. 

We've clapped and cheered for every milestone. We've prayed through open heart surgery. We've become friends with therapists on our living room floor. We've relived the weeks surrounding his birth two times now. Each time I grieve for her loss and burst with joy for our gain. Adoption is risky. But love itself is always risky. 

"A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy & the depth of that privilege are not lost on me."-Judy Landers 


A huge thank you to the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network, the Wright’s with CAC, and our lovely agency Gifts of Grace! Thanks for holding our hands and continually lifting us up on this journey! We are a family through the miracle of ADOPTION!
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Is God calling you to adoption? Is the orphan on your heart?
​I promise God has a mighty plan for your yes! 
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Open Adoption, The Phrase We Wanted to Run From

10/15/2018

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Open adoption. 
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The phrase was one we wanted to run from. Our families were hesitant too. What if this; what if that. But praise God that we didn’t go with our feelings. We sought God’s direction and stepped into the unknown.
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The change didn’t happen overnight and the surrendering took time and had to happen over and over again. But something happens when you start to pray for courage. Something happens when you start to pray for that first mama with all of your heart. And something happens when you open up your life to people who you thought were so different from you. You realize you are really the same. Both fearful of how this open adoption thing might work. Both fearful of having to fight for this little girl’s love.
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In my surrender, God spoke. He told me that just as I love more than one child, so can my daughter love more than one mama. There doesn’t need to be competition. There doesn’t need to be control. There doesn’t need to be fear. The more I prayed, the more my heart saw this mama for who God made her; brave, courageous, a fighter, and someone I HOPE I could be if I had were in her shoes.

As I fell in love with this First mama to our daughter, I fell in love with all 5 of our kids’ birth mamas. I was able to surrender fear after fear and just rejoice in the idea of sharing life all together. I want nothing more than for my kids to have the freedom to love us both.
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As our kids get older, we continue to long for relationship with our children’s first families. As our teenager and tweens enter a phase of life where they search for who they are, processing their adoption story is certain to play a part. Are there hard pieces that come into play? There certainly are. And we have no idea how to do this. But we’ve come to believe that it’s okay not to have answers. What’s important is to have open hearts without expectation, without insecurity, without a need for love back, without a need to be chosen.

When we can push our hearts to reach this point, I believe THAT is when we can offer the genuine, perfect love that Jesus graciously extends to us each day.
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~Special thank you to Rena Vawter for sharing her heart on this week's blog!  
Gifts of Grace
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Orphan Sunday - A Call to Local Churches to Care for the Fatherless

10/15/2018

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Orphan Sunday, on November 11, 2018 is an amazing opportunity to celebrate God’s deep love for the fatherless! This year, we invite local churches to take a stand for orphans and share about Gifts of Grace's ministry during their Sunday morning service.

Whether you observe Orphan Sunday annually or this is your first time hearing of it, we encourage you to check out this short video where Francis Chan shares how adoption is a picture of the gospel. 

Please consider celebrating Orphan Sunday with us and churches across the globe on November 11, 2018 in order to bring awareness to the plight of the orphan, encourage believers to walk out James 1:27, and support life-affirming ministries such as Gifts of Grace.

Here are some practical ways local churches can celebrate Life. Love. and Adoption on Orphan Sunday:


  1. Have a Gifts of Grace staff or board member share about our mission and ministry.
   2. Share one of these Orphan Sunday videos during service: https://vimeo.com/channels/593323 along with a Gifts of Grace slide or bulletin announcement to inform congregants of a local avenue to support life and adoption. 
   3.  For churches who want to financially partner with Gifts of Grace, consider taking up a love offering.  We are happy to meet with or email you a short presentation on the financial needs of our ministry.
   4.  Invite your members to a fundraising night at Panera Bread in Lafayette, IN or Avon, IN on Thursday, November 15th from 4:00-8:00 pm.  Simply show this flyer when you order, or use code PRFUND when you order online for Rapid Pick Up or Delivery.


Email Bethany Sheets, bethany@ggadopt.com, for more information.


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Gifts of Grace Invites Community to Panera Bread Fundraiser

10/2/2018

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Lafayette, Ind.  – Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center will host a Fundraiser Night on Thursday, November 15th from 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.  A portion of the nights' proceeds will be donated towards Gifts of Grace's work in the community.

“A Panera fundraiser is the easy opportunity for everyone in our community to get involved with orphan care and support the life affirming ministry of Gifts of Grace,” says Bethany Sheets, Gifts of Grace Birth Mom and Outreach Coordinator.  “By doing something as simple as going out to eat or ordering to-go from Panera Bread, people can learn more about what we do, support our ministry, and get a yummy meal.”

Panera Bread is sponsoring Gifts of Grace at two locations in Lafayette, Indiana and Avon, Indiana.

2415 Sagamore Parkway South, Lafayette, Indiana (first flyer)

55 South Raceway Rd., Indianapolis, Indiana (second flyer)

Show electronic version one of the below flyers at the time of purchase,

OR for ordering online for Rapid Pick -up or Delivery, use code "PRFUND".

Order online here 
https://delivery.panerabread.com/ 
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Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center is non-profit adoption agency based in Lafayette, Indiana, existing to provide high-quality, Christ-centered and affordable adoption services, in order to support birth families, create thriving adoptive families and ensure that all children attain a permanent home at the youngest possible age.
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3 Keys to the Adoption Process

10/2/2018

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This week's blog is written by Gifts of Grace adoptive mom.  Thank you for sharing your story and advice, Ashley!

Our Story

Mark and I were married in June 2010 and we knew we wanted to adopt but we had never talked about where or when or the details of it. We knew we wanted to start our family right away though and began to try.

After two years of trying to conceive we had a choice. We could pursue fertility testing or we could look into adoption. We decided to pursue adoption and the doors began to quickly open for us.

We adopted our first two sons domestically at birth and we conceived our third son through IVF.

​Max is now 5, Eli is 3 and Nolan is 15 months. When we look back on our adoption journeys we can think of hundreds of things we want people to know, but there are three things specifically that I feel like were key in our adoption processes.


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Key #1: Adoption Consultants are Worth It!

It is worth the extra fees to hire an adoption consultant!

The whole process of adoption is very intimidating. We were completely overwhelmed when we began our first adoption and hiring a consultant from Christian Adoption Consultants was one of the wisest things we did.

I often explain a consultant is like a best friend. They are there to walk with you through the entire process.  They are able to explain all the unknowns because they have already walked through it many times with many people. They will be there to answer your hundreds of questions because you WILL have a hundred questions. And they will be your biggest support when you travel to go get your baby.

Take advantage of their knowledge as you are in the waiting process. Learn about mixed families, adoption trauma, open adoption, hair care for other races.
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Key #2: Take Advantage of Fundraising and Grants

CI’m not sure I’ve ever met someone who wasn’t worried about the cost of adoption. And I think often it is the deciding factor for someone to walk away from pursuing adoption at all. With both of our adoptions we did several fundraisers and we applied to every grant we could find that we qualified for. We walked away from both adoptions with very little debt because of it. I
also think fundraising helped our families and friends get involved and excited for something that they are essentially very detached from until the baby is born.

A few fundraising ideas we used were:
-babysitting night in your church
-support letters
-soup dinner
-Chick Fil A spirit night
-bake sales
-31 and Mary Kay fundraisers
-puzzle piece sales
-kids carnival
(Feel free to email me at ashley.harkleroad@yahoo.com if you have more questions about fundraising)
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Key #3: Open your heart to your baby’s birth family

​Before adopting you will be asked “how open” you want to be with potential birth families and you will be told scary stories about open adoptions from people. As we were waiting to adopt Max, I was pretty determined to not share the role of mommy and the idea of seeing our birth families after birth was pretty intimidating. The night we met Max and his birth mom that all changed for me and I realized there is room for both of us and our titles as mom to him.

Five years has gone by since he was born and he now regularly ask questions about his birth family, where he was born, when can he go visit, etc. His past is real and part of him and I’m realizing how important it is for us to try to keep a connection with his birth family.

Both our boys ask over and over about the day we met them and I’m so glad now that we can tell them about the day we met them AND their birth moms. This is not always a reality or a possibility for all adoptive/birth families. But we have found for us personally, that it is so important for our boys to feel like they can ask us questions, grieve their losses and if possible in the future try to meet up with their birth moms again. We are praying if nothing else that as adults they can look back and know we did our best to have answers to their questions and to affirm that it’s okay to miss a family they never got to grow up with.

​We have never regretted the level of openness we agreed to with their birth families but we can for sure say we wish we had more!!
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    We love to hear your adoption stories!  Email bethany@ggadopt.com for blog submissions.

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Location - 100 Executive Dr, Ste K, Lafayette, IN
Office Hours -  9 to 4 pm; Mon - Thur
Office Phone- 765-807-5117

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Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center - Full Support for Expectant Parents and Birth Moms at Lafayette, Indiana Adoption Agency.  Unplanned Pregnancy, Considering Adoption, Place Baby for Adoption, Living Expense Help, Financial Assistance, Housing help, Medical help, Education and Employment help, Transportation help. Text 24/7. 
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Non-profit, licensed, child placing adoption agency serving Adoptive Families through home studies, post placements, and background checks.