and I am a birth mom.
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
I was scared and terrified. But, it was happening. I was pregnant.
Were you initially considering adoption?
No. We (myself and the birth father) were planning to parent. At 26 weeks we learned Paisley had down syndrome. At that moment we were still planning on parenting. We had also learned that she had a hole in heart and her stomach. As we began to research and read on Down Syndrome though we realized we were not ready to take on a role that like. We weren’t mature enough. We knew one of us would have to stay home full time to care for Paisley. We both financially needed to work. We knew in that moment adoption would be best for Paisley.
What advice did the doctors give you regarding Paisley’s medical needs?
The doctors wanted me to abort Paisley. With her disability and the hole in heart and stomach, they said her quality of life wouldn’t be good. They said I would most likely give birth to a still born baby. I told them either way I was having this child.
What was it like working with Gifts of Grace?
It was challenging. I never thought I would go through an adoption process with my first born child. Meeting with my Birth Family Coordinator weekly helped me feel better about it. In the end I knew that I got to choose the family for my daughter. It wasn’t an agency picking a family I didn’t know or strangers for my child.
Do you still have a relationship with your child?
Yes. I do. We have an open adoption. We reach out a lot via email and we get to visit together once every other month. I still have a life and relationship with her.
What has been the greatest reward of adoption?
I still get to see Paisley and have a relationship with her no matter what. I still get to see her take on life challenges and achievements. She gets to grow up around me. It’s the best reward I could ask for through this adoption process.
What advice would you give to a woman considering adoption?
If you are considering adoption, it is not a bad thing. It is the most selfless and brave thing you can do for your child. I would suggest an open adoption so you can still have a relationship with your child.