We want to assure you that while your child’s struggles are naturally upsetting, you’re not alone. Every baby learns the voice and heartbeat of their birth mother when they’re in the womb. Even if you provide a supportive, loving home for your adopted child, they’ll sense a “disruption” as a baby — in other words, they know they were with their birth mom but are now with someone else. This fetal trauma can impact their physical, emotional, and mental health down the road.

If your adopted child has trauma, psychological, and/or behavioral issues, these resources for struggling adoptive parents may help. We’ve provided local resources, other options, and even Facebook groups that can support you and your child.

Local Resources

Local Therapists

Vanessa Cochran, MSW, LSW at Counseling Partners 

Vanessa is a Christian but does not offer Christian counseling. She has always been supportive of her clients’ faith and clients/parents incorporating prayer and/or Scripture into sessions; she just cannot take the lead on that. 

Vanessa takes a very attachment-focused approach to therapy, involving parents as much as possible — which is wonderful for adopted children! Learn more at childandfamilypartners.org.

Wellspring Counseling Center

Wellspring Counseling provides Christian counseling with applied Biblical truth that is personally applicable and psychologically sound. Learn more at wellspringcenter.net.

Care to Change

Care to Change is a professional counseling center for your family’s life challenges. They combine Scripture, relevant experience, and proven techniques into one integrative approach to helping clients. 

Their experienced professionals have a deep educational background focused upon proven, research-based approaches for guiding people to the next step. What sets them apart is they’ve built that knowledge upon a solid foundation of Biblical truth. Learn more at caretochange.org.

Karen Cover

Karen is a Christian counselor with a focus in EMDR  (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) psychotherapy. You can reach her at 765.463.4504.

Children’s Bureau Adoption Program

The Children’s Bureau provides family-based services, support, and information for adoptive families, helping them access resources and connect with other families. Learn more by reading below and visiting childrensbureau.org/our-services/adoption. 

Post-Adoption Services

A Post Adoption Services Care Coordinator will meet with your family to determine your family’s strengths and needs. They’ll help you develop a service plan and obtain those services. 

Your Care Coordinator will also provide your family with information and resources concerning issues of adoption, parenting, advocacy, mental health services, respite, and more — as well as support through difficult times. Finally, families can connect with other adoptive families through support groups.

Riley Children’s Hospital

Does your child have a psychological or behavioral condition that needs ongoing attention? Or are they experiencing temporary challenges from stressful life events? 

Your child may benefit from an evaluation by a team of psychiatry specialists at Riley Children’s Hospital. These specialists provide diagnostic and treatment services for children of all ages. Learn more at rileychildrens.org/departments/psychiatry.

Other Options

Empowered to Connect

You can receive a study guide and other adoption and foster care resources from Dr. Karyn Purvis and other professionals. Learn more at empoweredtoconnect.org. 

Parent Intervention & Training

Debra and her experienced team of Parent Trainers offer a unique and individualized approach to applying the principles of Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®), a model developed by Drs. Karyn Purvis and David Cross at the Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University. 

They offer phone consults at $100/hour, as well as in-home interventions for $3,000 to $4,000 per few days. Learn more at child.tcu.edu/about-us/tbri. 

Mercy Multiplied

Mercy Multiplied is a free, nonprofit Christian organization dedicated to helping young women break free from life-controlling behaviors and situations, including eating disorders, self-harm, drug and alcohol addictions, unplanned pregnancy, depression, sexual abuse, and sex trafficking. 

We hope to help every woman experience God’s unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Learn more at mercymultiplied.com. 

The Haven Retreat

This is a free, four-day retreat in Utah for women who have survived sexual abuse under the age of 18 and are now over 18. Transportation to and from the airport is provided, as well as all meals. 

Participants stay in a mansion in the middle of a canyon between two mountains. Each participant receives a therapist, a case manager, and 24-hour access to therapeutic staff on call. They also have a nurse on staff 24 hours a day and security on the grounds. The program includes group and individual therapy. 

Follow-up care includes an 8-week online recovery program with live access to a group with a specialized curriculum, one-on-one access to your case manager, and a support group online. Learn more at youniquefoundation.org/the-haven-retreat. 

The Envoy Group

The Envoy Group exists to help parents, grandparents, and guardians by utilizing our knowledge and experience to educate and connect families with struggling and at-risk teens to residential and therapeutic boarding school programs that potentially best fit their needs. Learn more at theenvoygroup.com. 

Christian Boarding Schools

Christian boarding schools and counseling for troubled teenagers, rated by parents. 

Please note: Programs are based on factors like age, sex, and certain needs (therapy, additions, level of care, etc.). 

Prices range from $2,600/month to $12,000+. Please call and ask about age, price, and exclusions based on your child’s needs. Learn more at bestchristianboardingschools.com.

Facebook Groups

Parenting with Connection 

facebook.com/groups/parentingwithconnection

Parenting Kids with Anxiety

facebook.com/groups/154405114714944

We hope these resources help you, your child, and your family through these challenges. Please know that our team (and the teams from the organizations we’ve listed) are here to support children and parents while providing information, healing, and comfort.

Still have questions, or need post-adoption support?

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Resources for Struggling Adoptive Parents appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Whether you’re just starting to navigate adoption, or you’re introducing your child to adoption-friendly books and movies, our resources for adoptive parents and children can help.

For Adoptive Parents

Books

• Adopting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck & Regina Kupecky
• The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide by Julie Bailey & Lynn Giddens 
• Adoptive After Infertility by Marilyn Crawshaw & Rachel Balen 
• Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison
• Attaching in Adoption by Deborah D. Gray 
• Born in Our Hearts by Filis Casey & Marisa Catalina Casey
• Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care by Rory Mullen 
• The Complete Adoption Book by Laura Beauvais-Godwin & Raymond Godwin 
• The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis 
• Created to Connect: A Christian’s Guide to the Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis with Michael & Amy Moore 
• Cross-Cultural Adoption by Amy Coughlin & Caryn Abramowitz
• The Encyclopedia of Adoption by Christine Adamec & Laurie Miller 
• Falling Free by Shannan Martin
• Give Them Grace by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson 
• Growing Up Black in White by Kevin Hoffman
• Healing Trauma through Loving Relationships by Nancy Fisher 
• In a Heartbeat by Leigh Anne & Sean Tuohy 
• In on It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know about Adoption by Elisabeth O’Toole 
• Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Christian Parenting by L. R. Knost 
• The Jonathon Letters by Michael Trout & Lori Thomas 
• No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. & Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. 
• Parenting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck & Regina Kupecky Fostering/Adoption
• Ready or Not: 30-Day Discovery for Families Growing through Foster Care and Adoption by Pam Parish
• Reclaiming Adoption by Dan Cruver, John Piper, Scotty Smith, Rick Phillips, & Jason Kovacs
• Reframing Adoption by Sharon Fox 
• Reframing Foster Care by Jason Johnson
• Search: A Handbook for Adoptees and Birthparents by Jayne Askin
• The Spirit of Adoption by Randy & Kelsey Bohlender 
• The Strength of Mercy by Jan Beazely 
• Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families by Natalie Gillespie 
• Tandem, A Devotional for Adopting with God in the Lead by Alison England 
• The Third Choice/A Woman’s Guide to Placing a Child for Adoption by Leslie Foge & Gail Mosconi 
• Thriving as an Adoptive Family by David & Renee Sanford 
• Toddler Adoption by Mary Hopkins-Best
• Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
• Wait No More by Kelly & John Rosati
• The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. & Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. 
• The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne Schooler & Thomas Atwood

Movies

• America
• The Blindside
• Good Hair
• Healing Children Through Trust & Relationships (with Dr. Purvis)
• Instant Family
• Lion
• Martian Child
• October Baby
• The Odd Life of Timothy Green
• Trust-Based Parenting: Creating Lasting Changes in Your Child (with Dr. Purvis)

Websites

• Adopt Shoppe, www.etsy.com/shop/AdoptShoppe 
• AdoptED, www.adoption-education.com 
• Adoption Learning Partners, www.adoptionlearningpartners.org 
• Adoption Training Online, www.adoptiontrainingonline.com 
• Adoptive Families Circle (magazine), www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com 
• Brave Love, www.bravelove.org 
• Heart of the Matter Seminars, www.heartofthemattereducation.com/index.php/en 
• Kayla’s Braids for African-American Hair Care, www.pinterest.com/rodneykl24/kaylas-braids 
• Tapestry Books, www.tapestrybooks.com

For Children

*Please note: Media portrayals of adoption can affect each child differently. We suggest reading or watching anything prior to giving your child access to ensure you’re ready and able to address any questions your child may have.

Books

• A is for Adopted by Eileen Tucker Cosby
• Adopted and Loved Forever by Annetta Dellinger
• Beginnings: How Families Come to Be by Virginia Kroll
• A Blessing from Above by Patti Henderson
• Did My First Mother Love Me? by Kathryn Ann Miller
• God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren
• How Was I Adopted by Joanna Cole
• I Wish for You by Marianne Richmond
• A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza
• Oliver by Lois Wickstrom
• On The Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman
• Over the Moon by Karen Katz
• Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story by Lori Rosove 
• Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis
• We Belong Together by Todd Parr
• Zachary’s New Home by Geraldine & Paul Blomquist

Movies

• Angels in the Outfield 
• Anne of Green Gables
• Annie
• Despicable Me
• Elf
• Hotel for Dogs
• The Jungle Book
• Kung Fun Panda
• Lilo & Stitch
• Martian Child
• Meet the Robinsons
• The Odd Life of Timothy Green
• Prince of Egypt
• The Rescuers Down Under
• Stuart Little
• Tarzan

Looking for more adoption information?

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with birth families, adoptive parents, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant women and birth parents, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Resources for Adoptive Parents & Their Children appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Wondering how you’ll afford an addition to your family is completely normal. But fundraising for your adoption and applying for grants can help to ease some financial burden and anxiety.

Below, we’ve shared a list of resources regarding financial assistance for your adoption:

Grants for Domestic Adoption

Advocates for Adoption: Be the One

Be the One awards $500 quarterly to applicants living in Indiana, Ohio, and Kentucky. Please mail your application to: 

9667 Searcy Ridge 

Patriot, IN 47038

Both Hands Foundation

Both Hands serves both widows and orphans while supporting adoptive families. With this service project, you’ll help a local widow by painting, cleaning, and/or landscaping her home. You and your team then work to fundraise for your adoption.

The Buescher Foundation

You can choose to send in your application by February 1, May 1, August 1, or November 1.

Cade Foundation

Couples with an infertility diagnosis who are legal, permanent U.S. residents may apply for this grant. You can use your Cade Foundation grant (up to $10,000) to help with infertility treatment or domestic adoption. The grant requires a $50 nonrefundable application fee and has two grant cycles: 

• Spring: Apply by February 1; hear back by June 1; redeem your grant by July 31; receive funds on August 1.
• Fall: Apply by July 1; hear back by October 15; redeem your grant by December 31; receive funds on January 1.

Dream 4 Adoption

This is a $1,500 grant, with a $500 “welcome home” grant. Dream4Adoption currently runs two cycles per year: May 1 – September 30 and November 1 – March 31.

Gift of Adoption Fund 

Gift of Adoption offers a grant you can apply for any time for a $50 fee. The award amounts vary (up to $10,000), and the grant committee meets monthly to determine award recipients. 

This grant places precedence on awarding for relative/kinship domestic adoptions. For international adoptions, Gift of Adoption works to unite or preserve biological siblings, to prevent children from aging out, to prevent special needs children from becoming institutionalized, and to help children with life-threatening health conditions who will not receive proper medical care unless they’re adopted.

Please mail your application and $50 fee to:

Gift of Adoption Fund

Attn: Grants Manager

P.O. Box 567

Techny, IL 60082

Hands of Hope Indiana 

This matching grant awards $1,000 to $4,000 to adoptive families. Please contact:

Megan Cutshaw

Attn: Adoption Grants & Loans

P.O. Box 40

Gridley, IL 61744

Help Us Adopt

There’s no application fee for this grant, which awards $500 to $15,000 to waiting families. Please mail your application to:

Help Us Adopt

P.O. Box 787

New York, NY 10150

Due dates: Postmark your application by:

• December 7 (or online by December 14)
• March 23 (or online by March 30)
• June 8 (or online by June 15)
• September 7 (or online by September 14)

JSC Foundation

See “Requirements” to find out if you’re eligible: www.jscfoundation.org/requirements 

Katelyn’s Fund

This foundation gives a $3,000 grant, as well as $1,500 to two other families when resources allow. Higher priority is given to families with an annual income under $100,000. Applicants may be interviewed in person or via conference call. These interviews must take place before travel occurs or WITHIN 45 days of a child being domestically placed in your home and BEFORE final travel for an international placement.

Please send completed applications and materials to:

Katelyn’s Fund – Application Coordinator

1327 3rd Ave. SE

Sioux Center, IA 51250

Lifesong for Orphans

This organization strives to place children with two-parent Christian families with matching grants and other financial assistance. 

Please mail your application to:

Lifesong for Orphans

Attn: Adoption Assistance

PO Box 9

Gridley, IL 61744

Mighty Families by Adoption

Mighty Families by Adoption serves couples who cannot have (or can no longer have) biological children and who are pursuing infant domestic adoption. Families with an annual income of $80,000 or less will be prioritized for financial assistance.

​Awarded families will receive up to $20,000 for adoption-related expenses, which can include agency and/or attorney fees. Applications fill almost instantly, so be sure to apply as soon as the next one opens up!

National Adoption Foundation

This organization awards families quarterly with $500 to $2,000 grants. You can apply online by clicking here.

Sacred Selections

Sacred Selections is a nonprofit organization that provides the financial means to fund adoptions for Christian couples committed to opening their hearts and lives for children in need of loving homes. 

Please mail your application to:

Sacred Selections

4144 Shores Road

Murfreesboro, TN 37128

Show Hope

This organization awards $5,000 to families hoping to adopt. There’s no application fee, and you can apply online as long as your home study or home study update is complete.

Show Hope gives grants each quarter, so please apply by March 31, June 30, September 30, or December 31.

Grants for Special Needs Adoption

Brittany’s Hope

This program asks recipient families to raise half of their total grant amount to help future families bring their child home. You can reach this goal through tax-deductible donations from family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, or individuals from your community. Brittany’s Hope provides each family with a set of customized fundraising tools that will help them to meet their goal. You can apply for this grant at any time.

Golden Dawn

This organization helps families of faith adopt babies with special needs and other hard-to-place children. There’s a $20 application fee, but you can apply anytime for an award of up to $2,000.

Other Helpful Resources

• Adoption Tax Credit 
• Affording Adoption
• North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC)
• 15 Adoption Fundraising Ideas

Our professionals can walk you through the adoption process while helping you apply for financial assistance.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Financial Assistance for Your Adoption appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

In this post, we’ll share an overview of FASD, diagnoses on the spectrum, what could cause FASD, and behavior and/or learning symptoms to watch out for.

FASD: An Overview

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) is a group of birth defects that can occur when a baby’s mother drinks alcohol while pregnant. FASD itself is not a diagnosis, but rather an umbrella term for various diagnoses.

Symptoms in children may include physical, mental, behavioral, and/or learning disabilities. Specific FASD symptoms will vary based on the individual.

Prenatal alcohol exposure won’t always result in an FASD, but babies who do develop the condition will have permanent, lifelong brain damage. Children with an FASD have smaller-than-average brains, with an impaired frontal lobe, corpus callosum, cerebellum, hippocampus, and basal ganglia.

Diagnoses on the FASD Spectrum

There are a few syndromes and disorders on the FASD spectrum, including:

• FAS: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (10-20 percent of children on the spectrum). This diagnosis requires three facial abnormalities: narrow eye openings, a smooth area between the lip and the nose (vs. the normal ridge), and a thin upper lip.
• PFAS: Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
• ARND: Alcohol-Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder (most common on the spectrum)
• ARBD: Alcohol-Related Birth Defects

Please visit this website to learn more about each diagnosis.

Factors that Could Cause FASD

Your child’s disorder may be the result of:

• Blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of the pregnant mother (Binge drinking is especially harmful to her baby.)
• Timing of exposure
• The resiliency of the fetus
• The mother’s metabolism and diet 

FASD Behavior & Learning Symptoms

Here are a few signs to watch for if your adopted child has an FASD:

• Poor impulse control
• Lack of control over emotions
• Difficulty learning from consequences
• Hyperactivity/Impulsiveness (ADHD)
• Inappropriate friendliness with strangers
• Poor judgment and decision-making
• Difficulty with abstract concepts
• Inability to manage money
• Sleep difficulties
• Stubbornness
• Difficulty with the passage of time
• Passivity
• Fearlessness (high-risk behaviors)
• Poor self-image
• Depression and/or anxiety
• Irritability
• Attention and/or memory deficits
• Sensory processing issues
• Immature social behavior
• Difficulty in school (often manifests around 4th grade)

Intervention Options

While there’s currently no cure or specific treatment for FASD, there are things you can do to reduce some of the effects and help your child achieve a better quality of life. These intervention options include:

• Helping your child early on with walking, talking, and socializing
• Working with a family counselor, special ed teacher, speech therapist, and a physical or occupational therapist
• Addressing health issues, such as vision problems or heart abnormalities
• And more

We offer education and ongoing support for adoptive parents — even after they bring baby home.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD): What You Need to Know appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Here are some adoption fundraising ideas to help you address the financial challenges you may face:

1. Have a garage sale.

Ask friends and family to donate items. You could even advertise that you’re fundraising for a special cause: adopting a child!

2. Host an online auction.

Ask your favorite authors, restaurant owners, and stores to donate gift baskets or gift certificates for an online auction.

3. Host a consultant party!

Ask your Mary Kay or MLM consultant friends to host an in-person or online party. Make sure you work with one who will donate a percentage of their sales toward your adoption.

4. Sell T-shirts.

There are a variety of online sites where you can create a t-shirt fundraising campaign. You may receive a better response if you don’t make the t-shirt specific to your family or your adoption. The more general your slogan is, the more appealing it may be.

5. Create an Etsy shop for homemade items.

If you have a special skill set, offer custom designs and sell them online.

6. Have a bake sale!

Do you have a knack for baking homemade goodies? Sell your talents with a bake sale at your office or church!

7. Host a taco night or a pancake breakfast.

Reach out to your local church or community center to see if they can reserve a space for you. Ask local restaurants if they’re willing to donate food or materials for your event as well.

8. Look into crowdfunding options.

Check out AdoptTogether, a website for adoption donations.

9. Send letters to loved ones, coworkers, and church members.

In these letters, you’ll explain your needs and goals for adoption. You can also provide different levels of donations they can support you with. Consider setting up an adoption fundraising website for easy online donations, too.

10. Sell prayer bracelets.

This is a great way to invite others into your adoption journey through prayer. After all, it takes a village to raise (and pray for) a child!

11. Set up a giving tree.

During the holidays, have a small giving tree with different ornaments that coworkers and church members can take. Each ornament will have a different donation amount they can provide.

12. Offer community services.

Use the money you make to help with fundraising. Mow lawns, hold photography sessions, detail someone’s car, clean their house, or do anything that lets you use your skills to help others!

13. Plan a fun, active fundraiser!

Hold a 5K run, walk-a-thon, or bowling fundraiser, with proceeds going toward your adoption.

14. Consider where your family can cut expenses.

Maybe there’s a streaming subscription you could go without. Or perhaps you can put even more of your paycheck into savings or your adoption fund.

15. Apply for adoption grants.

Visit our “Financial Assistance for Adoption” blog for adoption grants and financial assistance you can apply for.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption — including fundraising and financial assistance resources.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post 15 Adoption Fundraising Ideas appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

In this post, Rachael Rush (our Adoptive Family Coordinator) shares questions you should ask when you’re interviewing the agency before starting the adoption process.

As an Adoptive Family Coordinator, I often receive phone calls from families beginning to navigate the deep seas of private domestic adoption. These phone calls take me back to the days of sitting in the “hot seat” answering those nerve-racking interview questions, trying to land a job. But during these phone calls, I’m not nervous at all! I proudly answer these questions and try to share additional information about our agency with the families.

Whether you’re an adoptive family or an expecting mom looking to create an adoption plan, it’s important to take the time to research any adoption agency you’re thinking about working with. Here’s a list of questions to ask when interviewing the agency.

Are you a licensed child-placing agency?

Most people don’t think to ask this because they assume all agencies are licensed. But there are some “adoption agencies” that are not licensed child-placing agencies, but rather adoption facilitators and adoption attorneys.

What types of adoptions do you help with?

Knowing the types of adoptions an agency facilitates will help you make sure they line up with what you are looking for. Does the agency help with domestic infant adoption, older child adoption, international adoption, or state adoptions? And does the agency require closed, open, or semi-open adoptions? Or can an expecting mother choose the adoption path for her child (closed, open, or semi-open)?

What does your fee schedule look like?

The cost of adoption is one of the biggest concerns for most adoptive families. That’s why our agency has a clear, comprehensive breakdown of the typical costs associated with adoptions.

Unfortunately, not all agencies are honest about their pricing. Make sure to get your adoption fee structure up front. Look for cost estimates that include all the agency fees, living expenses, medical expenses, legal fees, and any other non-refundable costs. You’ll also want to make sure you know when all the fees are due. Don’t be afraid to ask where your money will be going.

How is our investment protected?

Adoption agencies handle events like disrupted placements in different ways. It’s important to know ahead of time what will happen to any money you have paid in an event like this. Are you going to get your money back? Will you only receive a small portion back, or is the money locked in and rolled over for another adoption attempt? Make sure you understand the financial risks that may be involved.

How many hopeful adoptive families do you have waiting, how many placements do you complete each year, and how long is your wait?

These questions (and the answers you receive) will help you understand the big picture of the agency. If an agency has hundreds of waiting families but only completes a handful of placements a year, that’s a red flag. You will probably receive less support and a longer wait time.

On the other hand, if the agency only offers a few placements a year and has a low number of waiting families, you will probably get more “hands-on” support and guidance throughout the process. Wait times often vary, but it’s always worth asking to get an idea.

What type of support do you provide for adoptive families AND expecting moms, pre- and post-placement?

Adoptive families and expecting moms need logistical, emotional, professional, legal, and medical support throughout this journey. Some agencies are considered “full service” and are equipped to provide support in all of these areas. Other agencies are only able to offer support in one or two of the areas. 

The best agencies will have professional employees working for the adoptive family and for the expecting mom(s) to ensure each party is supported through the entire process. Full support for the expecting moms is essential; it not only prepares them for the tough, loving choice of adoption, but it also reduces risk.

What type of education do you require and/or provide to hopeful adoptive parents?

If you find an agency that does not require any training, chances are they are not offering adoptions for the right reasons. If you, as a hopeful adoptive parent, do not want to complete any adoption training, chances are you are not ready to adopt. It’s essential to understand adoption and all the complexities associated with the process before you become an adoptive parent.

Make sure you educate yourself any way you can before adopting a child. The agencies you want to work with will be the agencies that provide you with opportunities for education and have additional resources available for you.

There are many adoption agencies and organizations out there. You may find one better than another based on your unique situation. Asking these questions while interviewing the agency is a great place to start.

Don’t forget to:

• Be bold when asking your questions.
• Read agency reviews and ask people you know for recommendations.
• Choose an agency that will fully support adoptive parents, expecting mothers, and adopted children.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Interviewing the Agency appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Because these two options are quite different, Rachael Rush (our Adoptive Family Coordinator) has outlined the differences between a licensed agency and private attorney below.

Private Adoption Attorney

Many families who choose to adopt through a private attorney are open to customizing their own experience and comfortable with the increased risk that’s involved — or they know their expecting parent very well. Attorneys are there to draw up the legal paperwork, get the signatures, and finalize the adoption in accordance with state law. Some attorneys offer matching services, while others require that you find your own expecting mom.

There is minimal support when it comes to the adoption process.

If you choose a private adoption attorney, you may have to navigate the entire process without guidance or support. If the expecting mother changes her mind and decides to raise her child, the adoptive family may have to deal with financial and emotional loss.

Most of the time, the adoptive family and expecting mom have built a relationship privately and without any support, boundaries, or buffer. Navigating this relationship and creating an adoption plan without guidance from an agency can be stressful and taxing on both parties, which may increase the risk of a failed placement. Some families will go on to hire an agency or a social worker for support and guidance.

Families may hope to save money on their adoption by going through an attorney.

Each potential adoption situation is different, but it’s not uncommon for the expenses in a private attorney adoption to equal the cost of a licensed agency. You’ll be responsible for hiring an agency anyway to complete post-placement reports to meet state requirements. You could also responsible for expecting mom living expenses, the mother’s medical expenses, and more.

Licensed Adoption Agency

When you work with a licensed adoption agency, services are more inclusive. An agency will walk you through the entire adoption process, from application to finalization and everything in between. You’ll also receive an outline of all the standard and expected fees so you’ll know what costs to expect up front. The agency will also provide you with a level of support that eases the stress that the adoption process can bring.

An agency will provide training and help you plan as you prepare to become an adoptive parent.

Training topics will include transracial adoption, grief and trauma in adoption, how to talk to your child about adoption, how to answer their tough adoption questions, and more.

An agency will help you navigate the entire adoption process and plan for as much as possible before the placement even happens. Your Adoptive Family Coordinator will ask you questions such as:

• Do you want an open, closed, or semi-open adoption?
• What do you want the relationship with the expecting moms to look like?
• What is the birth plan, and how will we carry that out?
• And more

A licensed agency will also act as a buffer between the expecting parents and adoptive family to reduce the stress of planning and communication for both parties.

An agency’s Birth Family Coordinator will support the child’s expecting parent(s).

While I help adoptive families navigate through their side of the adoption journey, our Birth Family Coordinator is supporting the expecting moms who come to us. This is what really sets our agency apart from not only the attorneys, but other agencies as well. We provide full support to our expecting moms by meeting with them multiple times a month — and we’re available to talk 24/7.

Our licensed agency also works with expecting moms to identify their needs, help them get resources and/or healthcare, help them find a job or go back to school, education, and reach their goals. Most importantly, we work with them to make sure that adoption is really what they want, and we prepare them for the ups and downs of the journey.

We advocate for our expecting moms, making sure their wants and needs are heard and met. We listen to what they want in a family and what they want their adoption to look like. And our support does not end after the placement. We continue to provide support to our expecting moms, meeting with them (if they’d like) after they place their child for adoption for emotional support.

In the end, it’s your decision whether you work with an adoption attorney or agency. Everyone’s situation is unique, so take the time to ask questions and make sure you know the level of support both parties will receive.

If you choose to work with an adoption agency, choose one that provides full support to the adoptive family and expecting moms. They (and the adopted child) are equally important, and having someone to turn to for support and guidance will help you through the process. 

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Licensed agency or private attorney? appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Whether you’re adopting a newborn, toddler, or teenager, they’ll all come with different forms of trauma. That could be physical trauma (like an FASD from alcohol exposure in their mother’s womb), or emotional trauma (like sensing the stress their mother felt during an unplanned pregnancy), or both.

In this post, we’ll explain what it means to be a trauma-informed parent who can help your adopted child process their feelings and what they’ve been through.

Trauma-informed parents recognize the life-changing influences of trauma.

Traumatic experiences can alter a child to the center of who they are, and parents who are working toward healing know this. Hurt children can move from brokenness to wholeness with healing parents who walk alongside them in that brokenness.

Trauma-informed parents can put themselves in their wounded child’s shoes.

When a child has experienced trauma, their perspective is tainted in how they view the world around them, the adults in their circle, and even themselves. Their lens can be tarnished, and they may view situations, people, or the world as unsafe. They may see themselves as damaged or unlovable. But a healing parent walks in their child’s shoes to understand what their child sees.

Trauma-informed parents toss aside the preconceived notions they had on how to care for their child.

It’s easy to form an idea of how to parent based on your experience with other children, advice from others, self-help books, or watching parents around you. But adoption requires new ways of thinking, parenting skills, and methods or styles. A healing, trauma-informed parent has a teachable mind and a willing heart to learn new ways of relating to your child.

Trauma-informed parents are willing to learn how to manage their own emotional responses.

Parenting in general is a challenge. Mix in trauma, and a parent will face even more challenges. As an adoptive parent, you’ll grow to manage your emotional responses to your child’s behaviors.

Some parents may find that by walking alongside their child in healing, they will unveil some of their own past issues or unresolved pains. Adoptive parents must practice self-awareness and mindfulness when responding to their child.

Trauma-informed parents should also remember to not take things personally when/if their child reacts negatively toward them. A healing parent realizes that their child’s acting out may come from a deeper broken place. Over time, you’ll learn to respond with connection, love, and a fostering heart.

Trauma-informed parents aren’t afraid to seek out help.

You have limits, no matter how much you want to be the savior your child needs. You can’t pull your child out of the deep waters if you yourself are drowning.

A healing, trauma-informed parent is willing to be vulnerable and open with others. Ask for help when you need it, and recognize that no matter how much you prepare, you won’t know all the answers. And that’s okay.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions that come with adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Trauma-Informed Parents appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

In this post, you’ll learn about the importance of bonding and attachment, what cocooning is, and how to tell your loved ones about it.

Bonding & Attachment

Bonding and attachment are vital to a child’s development, and adopted children have experienced a severed attachment with their birth mother. Babies can hear noises outside of the womb by 20 weeks into their mother’s pregnancy. 

Their brains are neurochemically prepared to enter into the world that they were expecting. But separation from their biological mother and her “world” can be stressful and even traumatic. This causes an even greater need for the baby to effectively bond with their adoptive parents. 

Bonding and attachment help a child feel safe and secure.

A safe, secure child can develop crucial functions such as socialization, intellectual stimulation, and identity formation. So it’s important to meet your child’s needs in a consistent, sensitive manner:

• Feed babies on demand.
• Respond quickly to fussing. 
• If you adopt a toddler or older child, allow him to regress. Try bottle-feeding him, rocking him to sleep, carrying him, and letting him sit on your lap. 
• In short, be there for your child as much as possible in the early days, weeks, and months.

Cocooning

Cocooning is a 6- to 12-week period of time when adoptive parents limit outside visitors and interruptions while caring for their child. This encourages the closeness and consistency that the child craves after experiencing a severed attachment with their birth parent(s).

During the cocooning period, parents hold, feed, change, rock, and “wear” baby in a sling. For older children, adoptive parents will try to simplify life, settle the kids into a routine, and limit their care to Mom and Dad. 

Cocooning will help you develop a secure, trusting, strong relationship with your newly adopted child. 

As hard as it is in our fast-paced world, try to spend as much time as possible with your child and be fully present during this time of cocooning. Research shows that when parents multitask, children can sense this. 

So turn off your computer and cell phone, block out your mental to-do list, and concentrate on your baby. The time you invest in feeding, changing, carrying, singing, playing, and soothing them will solidify your bond.  

Helping Loved Ones Understand

When you welcome a bundle of joy into your home, of course your family and friends want to meet and hold them! But it’s important to keep your child’s world as small as possible during the cocooning process to establish structure and comfort for your baby.

To help your friends and family better understand bonding and attachment, and your plan to “cocoon” when you bring your little one home, consider sending them a letter like the one below.

Dear Family and Friends,

The day we have longed for is fast approaching. We are finishing preparing our home and our hearts for our new daughter. Adoption is something that has been a part of our lives for years. We’ve researched, prayed, and discussed growing our family through adoption for quite some time. We have taken classes and read countless books, and articles about bonding, attaching, and parenting our little girl.

Soon, our baby will say goodbye to the only life she’s ever known.

She will be placed in our arms and into a new life. As in all adoptions, loss is a big part of her life. It always will be. She will never forget that. It will never change. She is not too young to remember. Studies have proven that to be a fact.

We know that just like us, you want baby girl home with her mommy and daddy, and you want your chance to meet her, hold her, play with her, and love on her. However, we know that just like us, you want her transition to her forever family to be as positive as it can be.

Because of adoption, our family is now unique.

It is our responsibility to teach her that we, her parents, will kiss her boo-boos, tuck her in a night, console her tears, fill her tummy, and love her unconditionally for the rest of our lives. She needs to learn to trust us. We will need your help in doing that. 

Through careful consideration, prayer, and education we have created an attachment plan for our daughter. Please understand that we are doing this only because it is what is best for her.

This letter is to share with you that we will be doing what the adoption community refers to as cocooning.

As part of the cocooning, we will be limiting baby’s interaction with everyone outside our household for at least the first month. It is important that we make her world as small as possible. We will be establishing structure and comfort for her by staying home during this time and trying to not leave her sight.

You are welcome to call, email, send cards, and/or FaceTime with us. We will be in close proximity to her at all times. Eventually, we will be out and about gradually so she isn’t overwhelmed. For a time, we ask that you don’t hold, kiss, or hug her as she learns that we, her parents, will meet her emotional and physical needs. We would love for you to talk to her, wave, blow kisses, and sing to her.

Please know that this won’t be forever.

Most of all, family and friends, we share our excitement with you! Just as we’ve spent our time longing for her to be in our arms, we long for her to be in your arms as well. Come along with us and ride out the final stage of the wait!

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions that come with adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post The Importance of Cocooning appeared first on Gifts of Grace.