In this post, you’ll hear from Erin, an adoptive mom of three. Read her story below, and learn how she navigated the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Sitting in the morning sun in our house littered with dinosaurs, Barbies, and baby blankets, I sat in awe and wonder how we got here.

10 years ago, when my husband and I got married, we didn’t expect that this is how our life would look. We thought we would be able to get pregnant quickly and start out the life we had dreamed about, raising a family on our family farm. It took many struggles and disappointments to realize that life doesn’t always go according to our plans. In fact, not much at all does.

But we have trusted all along that God is in control — and we have slowly, sometimes stubbornly, learned that his plans are greater than anything we could have imagined.

Today, our family consists of three adopted children, each with their own unique adoption story and relationship with their birth families.

We went through two painful failed adoption placements before we met our son’s birth mother. That cold January day when he was born was one of the most amazingly joyful and humbling days of our lives.

I can’t describe the feeling of watching his birth mother hand over the child that just she gave birth to and place him in my husband’s arms. Trying to understand the extent of her loss and grief, while rejoicing in the fact that we had just been entrusted with the most precious gift we could ever receive, brought a flood of emotions. She and her extended family have become family to us, celebrating birthdays and holidays together, even vacationing with them.

When people first hear this, they find it strange, and we would have in the beginning, too. We never planned or expected this type of relationship, but it has become the most natural and rewarding thing for both them and us. We love that our son has the opportunity to have this type of relationship with his birth family and see that adoption is truly formed out of love. 

Having such a wonderful experience with our son, we were ready to adopt again.

We knew the process might take years, so we started our home study right away. Unexpectedly, just 13 months after our son was born, we welcomed our daughter into our family.

We had received a phone call three weeks prior, explaining her situation and asking if we were ready to accept another placement, to which we excitedly answered, “Yes!” After she was born, our daughter had a two-week stay in the NICU, which was a new and scary experience for us. We never met her birth mother, but we remain open if she would choose to pursue a relationship with us.

Our hearts were full. We had received two beautiful blessings and were soaking up life together as a family of four. Having two children so close together was a lot of work and a lot of wiping — counters, noses, bottoms — but to this day they, share such a special bond from being so close, and they have brought so much life and joy to our family. 

Two and a half years later, we were ready to add to our family again.

We began working with Gifts Of Grace, which was more local for us than our previous agency. We were shown potential birth families time and time again and continued to get the same response: not chosen. Our home study expired after a year of waiting, and we began to wonder if we should keep trying. Maybe our family was already complete? But we continued to feel called and knew that in the right timing, God would provide the child that was meant to be a part of our family. 

The call came when we were out of state attending a farm meeting. A baby boy had just been born unexpectedly, and his birth mother had chosen us. We were asked, “How quickly could you get to the hospital?” They call it a “stork drop”… one call that changes your life forever. We changed flights, packed our bags, and headed home as soon as we could.

We were able to meet his birth mother at the hospital and spend some time with her. Our son was born two months prematurely, and so we had another extended stay in the NICU. Although a different situation, we had more of an idea of what to expect this time. It was a difficult season of having our family spread out — our other two children staying with family, my husband continuing to work and travel back-and-forth to the hospital, and me staying full time at the hospital to bond with and care for our son. We were finally released to go home and begin life as a family of five.

Our two older children, who are now 4 and 5, are absolutely thrilled about having a new baby brother. My daughter thinks that he’s her real-life baby doll!

Although adoption is born out of loss, struggle, heartache, and waiting, we have seen time and time again the blessing and healing that can come from our children’s stories.

We talk very openly with our kids about their adoption stories and their birth families. We share their stories in terms that they’re able to comprehend now at a preschool level, but we will continue to provide the details as they are developmentally ready.

Our children have brought joy, purpose, and love beyond measure not just to us, but to our extended family and friends who have shared this journey with us. It’s been a hard road, but we would do it all again because … it’s worth it. Every time.

In hindsight, we can see how God‘s hand was in every heartache we experienced, every “no” we heard, and each period of silence in the waiting. And today, I sit here in my living room cluttered with toys, feeding our newborn and thanking God for adoption and the journey that has led us here.          

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Adoption after Adoption – From the Perspective of an Adoptive Mom appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Jeremy and Mary have two adopted sons from the same birth mother and two biological daughters. One of their adopted children has an undiagnosed special need. They are actively working with medical professionals to determine his diagnosis. 

What led you to want to focus on special needs within adoption?

Mary: As we began to explore adoption, I kept finding myself going back to children or birth families with special needs. But I would tuck it away and say no. God kept bringing it back to me, though. I was afraid Jeremy would say no, but as soon as I presented it, he said yes. Over time, God kept giving us more and more of a desire to pursue this adoption and opened us up to the thought of raising a child who had special needs or may come from a family with special needs.

Jeremy: To be honest, I was naïve at the time. We knew people in our lives who had children with special needs. You don’t fully know the struggles that come with making this decision until you are in the middle of it. But your child with special needs brings so much joy to your family and to your life. 

What type of adoption do you have and why?

Jeremy and Mary: We have an open adoption. When we adopted our first son, we got a call later down the road that his birth mother was expecting again and wanted to create another adoption plan. We asked Gifts of Grace to present us to the birth mom because we wanted the boys to be raised together. In our open adoption, we exchange photos and have two visits yearly with the boys’ birth parents. It’s important to us that our children have a relationship with their birth parents.

What advice would you give to loved ones of future adoptive parents who adopt children with special needs? 

Jeremy: Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It means a lot to us as parents for others to have a better understanding. It shows you care and that you are invested in our child. 

Mary: Be positive and encouraging. These adoptive parents need encouragement and shared interest in the joy and rewards that come with parenting a child with special needs. 

Why did you choose to work with Gifts of Grace? 

Mary: We were very choosy with the agency we wanted to work with. We personally know a few birth moms, and we wanted an agency that would do right by our birth mother and not coerce her. We knew Gifts of Grace would support their birth moms, whether they chose to parent or continued with an adoption plan.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions that come with adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Mary & Jeremy: Adoptive Parents of a Child with Special Needs appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Read about Lowell and Natalie’s story about becoming adoptive parents — and waiting for the chance to adopt again.

What led you to adoption?

Lowell: It wasn’t something I grew up with, but I knew my wife had a strong desire for [adoption]. Over time, God worked in my heart a desire for adoption as well. 

Natalie: My desire to adopt had been there since I was a little girl. Through a series of events, God led me back to that desire.

How did you feel when you first met your child’s birth mom?

Lowell: She put a lot of trust in us. We’re so thankful to her for her decision. 

Natalie: I was terrified. Not because of her because she is amazing. Mainly because the situation was so sudden. We didn’t know how to approach her or talk to her. We were so scared. But she is super sweet. When we met, we talked, hugged, and I believe we even cried. It was a special time.

What was it like the day your child was born? 

Lowell: Chaotic. For us, we didn’t know about our child until we got the call he was in the hospital. We started our day as normal. I’m a farmer, and I went to work and was out in the fields when I got the call. 

Natalie: But then meeting him was indescribable. As soon as we held him in our arms, he felt like ours. He (Lowell) was worried beforehand if he would be able to love this child, but after everyone left and it was just the three of us, he (Lowell) looked at me and said, “This is my child, and I love him.” 

You’ve had a successful adoption and a failed adoption plan. What was that like? 

Lowell: Honestly, I just try not to think about it. 

Natalie: It’s really hard. With our first adoption, we didn’t even know about him until he was already born in the hospital. So we weren’t really prepared and had to quickly get things. I think if I remember correctly, we even left the hospital for a few hours to go buy things to take our son home. In our second adoption, we had more time to prepare for the child, but the mother decided to parent. It’s been a couple of years since that loss, and we are still waiting for the chance to adopt again. Some days, you wonder about the child and what they are like and who they are now. We pray for the mother and the child often. 

Adoption can often take a while. How do you get through the wait? 

Lowell: It’s hard when you have people around you having babies and you’re waiting. 

Natalie: We are still working on it. It’s tough. There are good days and bad days. Most of it for me is working on not being angry at God for the waiting and trusting that he really does have a plan and that it is good.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions that come with adoption — from working with birth parents to the waiting process and everything in between.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Lowell & Natalie: Adoptive Parents appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

In this post, Rachel Rinehart shares her story of adopting Miles, a baby boy with Down syndrome, into her loving family.

The road seems long and hard, but when we are at the end, we see all the ways HE showed up and showed off! 

In January 2014, God stirred my heart when two friends started advocating for children who had Down syndrome on Instagram. We have had front row seats to adoption, but we never imagined we would add to our family in that way. Even growing up with a cousin who had Down syndrome (and knowing he gave the best hugs ever!), it wasn’t something on my mind. Until then. 

I spent hours looking at precious kiddos on Reece’s Rainbow and praying over why this new desire wouldn’t leave me alone! When God changes hearts, it’s exciting stuff! A couple of months later, my hubby shared my eagerness, and we started the home study process.

Only a few days after that was finished, fall of 2014, we were pursuing a 3-month-old little girl. The months came and went. And with each situation, I lost a piece of my heart to the baby who wasn’t meant to be with our family. It wasn’t always easy, but we learned to wait with hopeful hearts and open hands. 

On March 1, we got the phone call we had been dreaming of.

Stephanie, head of the NDSAN, said, “You’ve been chosen!” Our baby boy was due in May. We spent the next few months preparing and building a relationship with our expectant mother. And on May 16, the little boy who had been growing in my heart was placed in my arms. We spent a few days with his birth mommy and 10 days in NICU. Finally, we were home and together as a family.

But then came the phone call that brought me to the floor. Matthias wasn’t ours anymore. His birth mommy wanted him back. On his 27th day of life, we handed him over and watched him drive away. Oh, the pain. We had switched spots, his mama and me. The grief she had felt was now mine. God brought us through the valley I didn’t think possible.

Being paper pregnant wasn’t easy. It brought with it some of the deepest trials … but also pure joy.

I’ve gained a love for my Jesus like I never had before. A love for mamas in hard places. A deeper understanding of how broken and difficult this is for everyone. But despite the loss involved in adoption, I was even more aware of God’s calling on our family.

We went back as active on the registry, but it was quiet. We kept busy and tried to make sense of it all. The months passed, and we neared the one-year mark of waiting. One year. The journey has left us forever changed. We bear scars, but we have experienced our Father’s goodness in the midst of the pain. We trusted that to have loved and lost is better than to have never loved at all. 

“Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there, but all of it is totally meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain from the fallen nature of fallen man every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that.” – John Piper 

But as time passed, I questioned my desire. Maybe we were pursuing it wrong.

I had gone on a mission trip to China in January … maybe our baby was there. One Wednesday (September 30), I posted on a domestic adoption Facebook page (which I never do) stating our desire and to pass the word along. On October 1, I faxed two applications to agencies pursuing two different kiddos in China. That road looked big, but I had to know if God opened the door. I was begging for direction that day.

And at 3pm, God answered! Not only with direction … but with a baby boy 1,865 miles away in a bassinet waiting for his family.

A private message from someone who read my FB post and not two minutes later, a call from Stephanie who also saw the post! With shaking hands and a quivering voice, I called. I figured it was too late. But God had this planned from the beginning. I don’t know why I am surprised by the way God showed up! To be a witness to the glorious display of love that happened that Thursday. A day I will record as the work of a faithful God!

We were chosen a few hours later and we said YES! Papers were signed that evening. And we were on a plane to meet our SON early Saturday morning. Meeting you all wrapped in God’s goodness. A moment I will always hold close. With swelling heart and sweaty hands, we walked into that hospital. And I stared at you in awe. I was yours and you were mine. Mama and son only by God’s sovereign plan of faithfulness and redemption! 

Our mighty M was born on September 28 and placed in our arms on October 3.

This little boy was wished for, longed for, prayed for, and WANTED. And he was ours. He is our miracle gift. He is our love that came without warning. We stand amazed at God’s faithfulness. Once again He has turned our tears into dancing. To God be the glory … Great things He has done! 

Meet Miles. The little man who wrecked our world in a good way. He has a head full of hair, the longest eyelashes, and the biggest smiles. Oh yeah, and he has an extra 21st chromosome. Miles has Down syndrome. We think he is absolute perfection. 

What a whirlwind three years it has been. Miles, you are teaching us to see the world through different eyes, with a heart of compassion and unconditional love. You teach us to enjoy life, love big, and laugh often. Loving you has been easy. But on hard days, I cry into my pillow with the desire that others knew you as I did. Only you’d probably just come up to me with your chubby hands and offer a kiss to remind me that hard isn’t bad! 

We’ve been thrust into a world of advocacy and education. Fighting for people to see that his worth is not based on his ability. And different is not less than.

We’ve clapped and cheered for every milestone. We’ve prayed through open-heart surgery. We’ve become friends with therapists on our living room floor. We’ve relived the weeks surrounding his birth two times now. Each time I grieve for his birth mama’s loss and burst with joy for our gain. Adoption is risky. But love itself is always risky. 

“A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy & the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” – Judy Landers 

A huge thank you to the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network, the Wright’s with CAC, and our lovely agency Gifts of Grace! Thanks for holding our hands and continually lifting us up on this journey! We are a family through the miracle of ADOPTION!

Is God calling you to adoption? Is the orphan on your heart?

I promise God has a mighty plan for your yes! 

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Mighty M & God’s Sovereign Plan of Faithfulness & Redemption appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

Rena Vawter, an adoptive mom of five, shares how she had a change of heart about open adoption and a relationship with her kids’ birth moms.

Open adoption. The phrase was one we wanted to run from.

Our families were hesitant, too. What if this; what if that. But praise God that we didn’t go with our feelings. We sought God’s direction and stepped into the unknown.

The change didn’t happen overnight, and the surrendering took time and had to happen over and over again. But something happens when you start to pray for courage. Something happens when you start to pray for that first mama with all of your heart. And something happens when you open up your life to people who you thought were so different from you. You realize you are really the same. Both fearful of how this open adoption thing might work. Both fearful of having to fight for this little girl’s love.
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In my surrender, God spoke. He told me that just as I love more than one child, my daughter can love more than one mama. There doesn’t need to be competition. There doesn’t need to be control. There doesn’t need to be fear. The more I prayed, the more my heart saw this mama for who God made her: brave, courageous, a fighter, and someone I hope I could be if I were in her shoes.

As I fell in love with this first mama to our daughter, I fell in love with all five of our kids’ birth mamas.

I was able to surrender fear after fear and just rejoice in the idea of sharing life together. I want nothing more than for my kids to have the freedom to love us both.

As our kids get older, we continue to long for relationships with our children’s first families. As our teenager and tweens enter a phase of life where they search for who they are, processing their adoption story is certain to play a part. Are there hard pieces that come into play? There certainly are. And we have no idea how to do this. But we’ve come to believe that it’s okay not to have answers. What’s important is to have open hearts without expectation, without insecurity, without a need for love back, without a need to be chosen.

When we can push our hearts to reach this point, I believe THAT is when we can offer the genuine, perfect love that Jesus graciously extends to us each day.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post Open Adoption, The Phrase We Wanted to Run From appeared first on Gifts of Grace.

In this post, adoptive mom Kristin shares her story about Faith’s adoption — and how her little girl is thriving.

Adoption has always been a part of our lives.

Both Matt (my husband) and I have younger siblings who were adopted, so it just felt like a natural way to build our family. While we were in college, we talked a lot about how our family would end up looking and how we’d thought adoption would be a part of it. During this time, I had worked with a little boy who had Down syndrome, and from then on, I knew in my heart that one day a child with Down syndrome would be a part of our family. 

Fast forward 10 years, and after having three biological children, we felt like the time was right to add a much-anticipated, much-longed-for, and much-loved child to our family through adoption. Two of our boys have varying degrees of special needs, so we felt even more confident that our home would be a perfect fit for a child who had some extra needs. We completed our home study and registered with the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network (NDSAN) as a waiting family.

We were hoping for a little girl who had that extra special chromosome.

We heard from Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center in Lafayette, Indiana about a little girl, yet to be born, who had Down syndrome and a heart condition that would need to be repaired a few months after she was born. That was the beginning of our journey with Faith. She is our best yes!

Faith Noelle was born on New Year’s Eve, weighing 2 pounds 12 ounces and only 14 inches long.

Her biological family felt like they could not give her the life that she needed, so they chose and trusted us to be her family. They wanted us with her right away so she would never be alone, so we were waiting in the hospital in the NICU during her birth mom’s C-section. Once Faith was stabilized and in her room, we were able to see her and to hold her. And even though she was small, she was strong.

We spent a month with her in the NICU, and she was released to come home at a tiny 3 pounds 14 ounces! Her adoption became official when she was 4 months old, and she had a successful open-heart surgery at 6 months old.

It has been two years since Faith’s open-heart surgery, and she is absolutely thriving!

Running everywhere … climbing and exploring. She LOVES the outdoors. Always asking to go outside or “bye-bye.”

Faith knows around 25 words in her signing vocabulary and is picking up more words every day. She also says daddy, chicken, woof (for dog), kitty, brothers, and mama. Her favorite song is “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” and she tries to do the hand motions.

She is a bundle of joy and energy and GO! 

Faith is the light of our lives.

Her three older brothers adore her and would do anything for her. She is so loved by all who know her.

Not a day goes by that I don’t look into her sweet face and feel SO thankful that
her first family chose to give her life, and chose us to be the ones to watch her live it. 

She is a gift, and such a blessing.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions of adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

The post She is Our Best Yes: Faith’s Adoption Story appeared first on Gifts of Grace.