birth parent resources Archives - Gifts of Grace

Telling Others About Your Adoption Plan

gogTFM2000 — Wed, 09 Dec 2020 17:53:09 +0000

Once you’ve chosen adoption for your child, you’ll eventually want to decide which family members and friends you’d like to tell about your adoption plan.

Some women decide to only share with people who they believe will support their decision; some choose to keep the adoption secret from everyone; and some tell everyone they know. Every woman’s situation and personality is different, so it’s up to you how many (or how few) people you’ll tell about your decision.

Here are a few tips for telling loved ones about your adoption plan:

Approaching Family Members

First, try telling family members or friends who you believe will best support your adoption plan. This will help you build the confidence you need to tell others who may be less understanding. You can even have someone by your side who supports your decision (like an adoption agency coordinator) when you share with the rest of your loved ones.

It’s important to remember that telling some people about an unplanned pregnancy and adoption plan at the same time may be overwhelming. So, if your pregnancy is still a secret, you could just share that information for now. If they ask how you’re going to raise this child, you may tell them you’re exploring your options — including placing your baby for adoption.

But if the opportunity presents itself and the timing seems right, feel free to tell your loved ones about your pregnancy and your intentions of pursuing adoption.

What To Expect

You may have had weeks or months to come to terms with your pregnancy, consider all of your options, and learn about adoption. However, the people you’re sharing with are hearing about all of this for the first time — but it can still be hurtful if they’re not supportive right away.

This typically happens because many people still believe that adoptions are cold and impersonal, but small agencies have changed for the better since then. So don’t be afraid to tell your loved ones what you’ve learned about adoption during your pregnancy.

Try to not take other peoples’ responses personally and to understand where they are coming from. Once your loved ones have time to digest everything you’ve told them, they may be able to discuss the situation from a less emotional place and give you support.

After You Tell Them

Having a strong support system will help you in many ways throughout your adoption journey. If you feel comfortable, share with your loved ones what led you to this decision, or invite them to be involved in your adoption plan.

You could also tell them it would mean a lot to you if they’d attend appointments with you, help you choose an adoptive family, or be with you at the hospital when you deliver the baby. Placing your child for adoption is a selfless yet emotional decision, so having people to support you during and after your pregnancy can bring you comfort and peace of mind.

No matter whom you choose to tell about your adoption plan, remember that this is your decision. While it may be difficult to cope with loved ones who don’t agree with your choice, you know what is truly best for you and your baby.

We can help you navigate the joys, challenges, and emotions that come with placing your child for adoption.

Gifts of Grace Adoption Support Center has worked with expecting moms, adoptive families, and children in the Lafayette, Indiana community since 2013. We believe that quality, affordable, Christ-centered adoption services empower pregnant moms and dads, create thriving adoptive families, and help all children be placed in a loving home.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

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Resources for Birth Moms

gogTFM2000 — Wed, 09 Dec 2020 17:23:38 +0000

Placing your child for adoption is an amazing and selfless decision, but it’s also a challenging and emotional one. You might be experiencing a wide variety of feelings, from sadness to panic to relief — and more. All of these emotions are normal after going through an unplanned pregnancy and adoption process.

If you’re looking for post-adoption support and resources for birth moms, we have a list of podcasts, support groups, books, and more to guide you.

Podcasts & Content

We’ve provided a podcast, video content platform, blog, and national organization that can help you find support and community during and after your placement experience.

Twisted Sisterhood

The Twisted Sisterhood podcast is hosted by two birth moms, Ashley Mitchell and Kelsey Vander. In this podcast, Ashley and Kelsey discuss the hardships and emotions they and other birth moms have experienced.

instagram.com/twistedsisterhoodpodcast/
Ashley’s Instagram: @bigtoughgirl
Kelsey’s Instagram: @fromanthamotha
https://linktr.ee/twistedsisterhoodpodcast

Knee to Knee

Ashley Mitchell, cohost of the Twisted Sisterhood podcast, founded Knee to Knee. She creates video content for women who have made a huge loving sacrifice to place their child for adoption. In Ashley’s videos, she is open and raw about her experiences and journey as a birth mom. She also provides lifting content and resources for fellow birth mothers.

Ashley’s Instagram: @bigtoughgirl
vimeo.com/kneetoknee
sitkneetoknee.com/birthmothers

The Grace Bond

The Grace Bond is an initiative by Leah Outten, a woman who lovingly placed her daughter for adoption at the age of 16. Now an adult, and a mother to five, Leah is an advocate and spokeswoman for birth moms.

BraveLove

BraveLove is a national organization that acknowledges the pain birth moms go through by making the brave decision to place their children for adoption. BraveLove shares stories written by many birth mothers. You can also find videos where birth moms discuss their experiences and stories.

BraveLove holds both in-person and virtual events throughout the year to support women who have chosen to place their children for adoption.

Support Groups

While there aren’t many support groups local to Lafayette, we have included some groups and event possibilities in Indianapolis and Chicago area, as well as some virtual options.

BraveLove

You can find birth mom support events at the link below. BraveLove also hosts birth parent-focused retreats. Because it’s is a national organization, you can search for events throughout the United States.

bravelove.org/events
Go to bravelove.org/post_adoption_support and click on the bold red “varied list” to find a list of groups and retreats throughout the United States.

Adoption Support Center’s Support Group

This agency provides support groups in the Indianapolis area.

Open Adoption, Double the Love

This is a private Facebook group comprised of all members from the adoption triad (birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees). Members share and support one another in their open adoption journeys: facebook.com/groups/openadoptiondoublethelove.

Adoptions of Indiana

Adoptions of Indiana is an adoption agency that also facilitates a private Facebook group for birth parents. They ask that you call their office to be added to the group.

On Your Feet Foundation

This foundation focuses almost completely on the referral and support of birth moms.

Books & Articles

There are many reading materials (including these short articles) which you may find useful now or at some point down the road.

“Birth Parent Loss & Grief”

This two-page article by Patricia E. Roles walks through the grief process birth parents (specifically mothers) go through.

She describes the numbness and denial which may occur in the initial stage, followed by an eruption of feelings that occurs after the shock and denial start to pass. These feelings can be sadness, emptiness, anger, fear, panic, and anxiety; all are normal. Patricia concludes with the “accepting the adoption” stage. Click here to read the article.

“Choosing for One Child & Not Another”

In this two-page article based on her own experiences, Brenda Romanchik describes how to navigate an open adoption and the questions the child might have down the road. Click here to read the article.

“Grief & Open Adoption”

This article is also by Brenda Romanchik, who goes into further detail about the feelings involved with placing a child for adoption. These emotions include shock, denial, sorrow, depression, anger, guilt, acceptance, and resolution. Click here to read the article.

Looking for more post-adoption support? We can help.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

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Resources for Birth Fathers

gogTFM2000 — Wed, 09 Dec 2020 17:01:55 +0000

Being a birth father, and placing a child for adoption, can be difficult and emotional (even though it’s an amazing and selfless decision). Along with supporting the baby’s birth mom, you may be coping with sadness, panic, relief, and other emotions — all of which are normal.

If you’re looking for post-adoption support and resources for birth fathers, here’s a list of support groups, books, articles, and videos to help you.

Support Groups

On Your Feet Foundation

While this foundation focuses mainly on assisting birth mothers, they also have a private Facebook support group for birth fathers: www.facebook.com/groups/160712467788760/.

Books & Articles

“A Birth Father Story”

In this two-page article, Paul Weber tells the story of his experiences as a birth father in a closed adoption. While he doesn’t go into many details, Paul describes his thoughts in the years after the adoption. Click here to read the article.

“Stepping Out of the Shadows: Birth Fathers Speak Out”

This article summarizes a book titled Out of the Shadows: Birth Fathers’ Stories. Author Mary Martin Mason describes the interviews she had with different birth fathers. Click here to read the article.

Ever After: Fathers & the Impact of Adoption

In this book, Gary Coles (an adoptive father) focuses on the impact adoption has on the birth fathers. You can buy the book on Amazon here.

BraveLove

While BraveLove mainly focuses on assisting birth mothers, they’ve also shared some stories from birth fathers: bravelove.org/tags/birth_father.

Videos

These videos are all under 5 minutes long and feature a birth father discussing his experiences throughout the pregnancy and adoption process.

Looking for more post-adoption support? We can help.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

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Are you ready to be a parent?

gogTFM2000 — Wed, 09 Dec 2020 16:30:57 +0000

Facing an unexpected pregnancy is overwhelming, especially if you’re not sure whether you should raise the baby yourself or place them for adoption. Both are wonderful and life-changing options, and you can make the right decision for your baby by asking yourself a few questions first.

The following questionnaire will help you consider your finances, support systems, beliefs, and long-term goals as you decide which path to take for your child.

Here are a few things to consider when trying to decide if you’re ready to be a parent:

Home & Emotional Support

Who will emotionally support me during my pregnancy? Will they still support me if I decide to parent my child?
Do I have people in my life who can help me raise/take care of the baby?
Where will I live if I choose to raise my child? Do I have room in my home for them?

Income & Financial Resources

What are my financial resources and/or income?
What income will I need to pay for rent, formula, diapers, daycare, and baby supplies?
Who will help me financially? (parents, a spouse/partner, etc.)
Do I qualify for certain resources that could help me raise my child? (WIC, government assistance, etc.)

Personal Goals & Parenting Beliefs

What are my long-term goals for myself? How will pregnancy and parenting affect those goals?
What are my goals for this child?
What is my concept of being a good parent to a child?
How will I approve/disapprove of myself if I make an adoption plan?

Pros & Cons of Your Options

What options have I considered?
What are the immediate and long-term consequences of those options?
What are the potential pros and cons for myself if I choose adoption?
What are the potential pros and cons for myself if I choose parenting?

Still unsure whether you should raise your child or place them for adoption?

We can help you review your options while supporting you during your entire pregnancy.

For more information, please contact us. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

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